For so long, I found it extremely difficult to understand my place in society. Where I am from, school doesn\’t teach you to learn about yourself and rather tries to set you on a path according to marks and grades that should define your abilities and your success.
I refuse that. Not too long ago – this year, actually, and it\’s thanks to the Covid-19 situation the world has been going through, I found what I wanted to do in life; I found my verb.
Today\’s post is to help you ask yourself the right questions and help you find your place, your meaning, and your trajectory if you are lost and can\’t seem to get out of the darkness that is the feeling of not belonging anywhere. Let\’s find your verb together – or at least try, shall we?
Right in the middle of this years\’ first lockdown, maybe around March or April, I couldn\’t stop thinking about makeup, about how I love colors and had been hating doing makeup and the world revolving around it, including writing on this blog.
It was all a product of the success pressure I was putting on myself, to be honest.
It is normal to want to succeed in a field you love. But all that unhealthy pressure was killing my vibe, my passion, and my soul.
One day, I had a lil\’ illumination.
I asked myself \”What do you like to do in life?\”. In other words, what makes me vibrate to the very core? What is your verb?
And the answer that came with it was straightforward, like that game we play of saying a word that makes us think of another word, and so on.
My verb is \”Share\”.
I love sharing, but I can\’t really be fuc**ed to see people every day. I love creating and showing people new realities, which is why I kept doing makeup, for the dream and unrealness. But social mingling has never been my cup of tea, however good at it I am.
I prefer staying on my own.
Further questions I asked myself after finding that my verb was to share, were: do you want to work on your own? Do you want to do art for a living? What do you like to do? What is challenging enough for your soul to grow?
And most importantly, what is a viable way for you to share?
That is how I decided to write for a living, after years of blogging and writing. I decided to keep makeup on the side, as it\’s a beautiful way to make a living, but not too viable at the moment.
And guess what? I\’m thriving.
I used to be depressed, lost in dark thoughts because I wasn\’t able to find something that I like doing. Because I was working long hours doing stuff I didn\’t like, just to make money.
Thanks to finding my verb, I am also a social media manager for two brands now, Silk & Lace, and Hartwell Countrywear. I write, I make money, I work from home, or from libraries or coffeeshops or anywhere I feel like writing from, really. I don\’t have to see people every day.
And you know what?
All the impulse buying I was doing before is gone. I\’m not stressed anymore. Well, I mean, I have targets I set for myself so obviously, I feel a bit of stress.
But it\’s easier for me. If I don\’t work on the freelance side of my job, I don\’t eat. But being in public, having to talk to people when I am having a bad day, this is gone.
So here it is. The only life tip I feel you need to get your life on track. So answer those questions sincerely:
- What is your verb?
- Do you want to do something creative or something that doesn\’t involve art?
- Do you want to see people?