Becoming The Burn Out Brand felt natural, in the midst of the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic.
At the beginning of 2020, I met a great man with whom I started a relationship; a person who taught me how to love healthily, how to listen to myself and how to discipline myself when it comes to mandatory tasks.
I was lucky enough to be on furlough all throughout the first lockdown in London, which lasted from March to September, meaning I had plenty of (paid) time to try and work out what I wanted to do with my life. With makeup, most substantially. Little did I know I would become The Burn Out Brand.
My feeling towards makeup is very much mixed lately. I very much love painting and creating on people, caressing the skin with a precise stroke of brush and playing around with texture and shapes remains as satisfying as it ever was.
However, the human interactions accompanying the creation; finding new people to paint on, unique faces, and teams is tiring and exhausting. Above all, finding paid work in makeup lately is complicated and it seems like all I get in my inbox are messages from students or brands wanting the best… for free.
As such, makeup is disgusting me more and more. During March, I was already thinking of throwing away all of my makeup kit – a lot of makeup, a lot of products, a lot of money… and dead dreams.
The birth of the Burn Out Face Charts
I moved to my second flat in London in April after shortly working as a lettings agent and some day back then, I woke up and felt the urge to draw a face chart. If you are not aware of face chart making, it is the art of creating a whole makeup look with actual makeup products on paper.
I am quite good at creating face charts, but far from the best and always felt like I was bad at drawing. The truth is, I never really put my heart and my patience into it and could easily have been a very good drawer if I\’d only made a tiny bit of effort.
That day I woke up, I felt like I could try and draw a minimalist face chart on paper with felt-tip pens, just to indicate colors and shapes. I went from my bedroom to the kitchen, sat down, and tried. Drew a few faces, took a photo of them, retouched them a bit, and posted them.
The Burn Out Brand Logo
The logo of The Burn Out Brand stems from a makeup look I did years ago on the burnout theme. I drew it, redrew it, and loved it so much that in the midst of the first lockdown, I chose to get it tattooed on the sternum area, beneath my bosom.
The first logo was the actual makeup look created years ago and when I got tattooed the design without all the colors, The Burn Out Brand became more minimalist. A few months ago, I touched it up again digitally to make it smoother in the lines. If I have to be honest, my favorite logo will always be the middle one; the touch of imperfection is stunning there.
The Burn Out Brand lives on
Once I got my Burn Out design tattooed, I felt that maybe, someday, someone would like to get that kind of tattoo from me. So I set myself on a tattoo apprenticeship quest. Those are so difficult to find, wherever you live, that once I found one, I did not let go. I was… so shocked that someone would believe in me and my ability to draw one day something acceptable enough to ink it under someone else\’s skin.
However, a month or so after starting the apprenticeship, I felt that I didn\’t belong in that world and stopped. I just didn\’t feel like it was making me happy, as happy as those drawings do.
Before long, people loved the designs I started creating. They\’re educative and entertaining and unlike anything I\’ve ever seen on Instagram, the King of modern advertising. They are definitely bringing and keeping people around and I can say that if I hadn\’t started to do those face charts, I would be totally out of the makeup world today.
So I don\’t know what\’s going to happen for Azami/The Burn Out Brand in terms of makeup. Now that I\’ve started writing on It\’s Azami again, I am also drawing the products I review and that\’s a fresh take on art that makes me happy to come back to drawing faces when I want to create a face chart.
I just want to feel free and appreciated for the art and entertainment and expertise I put out, no matter what I do. Until I do, I will remain on the verge of burnout – hopefully with great art along with it.